Well after a very busy week, we are still hanging in there. Avery is adjusting well, but I think I underestimated the discipline issues in a 2 1/2 year old who doesn't speak English who has spent her whole life in an orphanage.
Most the time she is mild mannered and sweet but when she doesn't get her own way, WATCH OUT. She will throw a temper tantrum and scream VERY LOUDLY. My boys HATE loud noises, so I can tell this upsets them when she does it. I tell her to stop and try to calm her down, but most the time this only makes the screaming louder. I am counting the days to when she can understand what I am saying and I can reason with her somewhat. Definitely takes A LOT of patience and persistance. If anyone has tips for these screaming fits in a 2 year old who doesn't understand what I am saying, I would appreciate it! :)
She is very attached to me which is good (I think) and not quite as attached to Mike or anyone else in the family. Hopefully with time, she'll feel more comfortable with them and won't have to be "my shadow" when I am around. I keep reminding myself it has only been 10 days since she got to our country so all of this will soon be in the past.
She did get her blood drawn (more screaming) and the only concern was elevated lead levels. Most all the kids at the O have elevated lead levels and these should come down over time. Not sure what exactly this will mean for her development/behavior, guess only time will tell. She had no other issues as far as labs were concerned except for the cooties growing in her intestines. She tested positive for C.Diff (bacteria) and some other protozoa thing so far. Her samples have also been passed on to the NC state lab for further testing. So far, we are treating with Flagyl and her poo issues are getting a lot better already.
She loves yogurt more than any food so far and also loves Morningstar Veggie Patties. She also enjoys flavored oatmeal each and every morning. She HATES cheese, chicken, meat, vegetables, and most fruits...hopefully her tastes will change over time so we can feed her more than 3 foods.
She also will not drink milk or soy milk. Thought for sure vanilla soy milk would go over well, but no luck.
So that's where we are at so far! Taking it one day at a time!
Thank you to EVERYONE who has sent money/clothes. It has really helped us greatly, especially with all the flights I had to cancel last week (airlines were NOT understanding at all.) We appreciate everything!!!
10 comments:
Have you tried chocolate or strawberry milk? I'll bet the yogurt is good for her GI tract, too. At least she's getting her calcium that way! Great to hear how she's settling in.
My twins eat almost anything. We are having some behavioral issues mostly because they will disobey and run away laughing, continually pick up things I've said not to, turn water on and leave it running and flip the light switches on and off a million times. We've had several bulbs blow out. I guess they will all settle in eventually. Jasmine is four years older than them so old enough to understand the behaviors.
Tracy, she is BEAUTIFUL! Love that smile!
Joshua was throwing some temper fits when he first came home, and he just happened to put himself in a corner! So, we discovered a possible means of discipline he was used to. It worked. Do you have the adoptive families creole book?
Kahn-pay means stand and we'll say Kanpay when it's corner time. It may actually be reassuring for her to know there is that particular boundary. Anyway, something to try. :~)
Fortunately the full-blown fits have become few and far between but I've made us of our pack-n-plays and basically the idea of a time out (for the screaming child AND the frazzled mommy!) Usually when I go back in after a few minutes I find a child willing to be snuggled and calm down. But each personality is different! Hope this helps a little.
oh this sounds so familiar. i think what you are going through is extremely normal. i also have 2 bio boys and the whole transition has been very hard on them this year. things get easier, not easy but easier. hang in there.
She is so beautiful!
There is nothing like the scream of a Haitian child. :) Did you ever hear my boys throw a fit at the pool this summer? There were some big ones!! The loudness doesn't get better, but the frequency and length of them will. Hang in there. Noah and Bo would drool like CRAZY when they would throw fits and a common phrase around here was "suck your drool!" :)
Really, all that you are experiencing with one that age is so normal. I think I have managed to block a lot of the memories b/c I would do it again, but know it was super hard and like you said, took TONS of patience...often more than I had.
Thanks for the updates. It's fun to read. :)
I find it hard to believe that anyone with such a beautiful smile could be a screamer! :)
I wish I had some advice for you. I'll continue to pray for you all as you settle in as one big happy family!
Wow - she is a BEAUTIFUL child. I'm just so tickled that she you as has her Mama now to **care** about her eating habits and training :) SOrry I don't have any advice - my almost 3yo guy gags on mashed potatos - and he's been seeing this U.S. food all his life ;)
~Jacci in Ohio
My friends adopted a beautiful boy from India at just about the same age as Avery. They reported the exact same things as you do.
Often times the screaming is because they don't have any other way of communicating, given the limited language. But their smart enough to know they want to express things.
Anyways, I don't have children yet. But hopefully knowing that there are people out there who have had the same struggles will be comforting. By the way, my friend's son from India is 7 now and he's very mild mannered. The tantrums stopped once he figured out a better way to communicate.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE these photos! SUPER cute! It sounds like you are having VERY similar issues at your house to ours! She is also having the screaming tantrums, is very defiant at times, even aggressive, and does the running away and laughing. Also is my constant shadow. She liked Neil and my dad, my mom in the beginning, and now will barely let them touch her sometimes. It is exhausting... I am VERY worried about returning to work..how have you dealt with that? We have tried time-outs for behavior but she won't sit, so I sit and hold her facing the opposite direction. We do this for hitting, biting, pinching...fun times. Normally she is affectionate and can be very well-behaved when she wants to be! I have done some ignoring, and have her say "I'm sorry Mommy" She is a very LOUD child also! Call if you ever need to vent or chat! This is a tough but rewarding journey...
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