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Monday, September 28, 2009

Confused

So the journey to bring our little girl home from Haiti continues to get more confusing by the day. Appparently, there has been a new law (not sure if it's a "law" or just the judges new "rule") that all adoptive parents have to go stand before him in court in order for the adoption to be completed. Even if one parent has already visited their child in Haiti, BOTH parents have to come visit the judge. This is stressing to a lot of families for a few reasons. For one, the cost. Travelling to Haiti can be a little pricey given the airfare, etc., and for both parents that cost is double. Put that on top of the fees we are already paying and monthly child sp0nsorship fees, and well, it is overwhelming. For us, this new law also makes things complicated given our son's Type I diabetes. We can't go really anywhere overnight and leave him behind b/c his pump is too difficult for family members or a babysitter. And I would never bring him to Haiti due to the risk of getting sick and the complications that could arise while being in the country.

On top of all this lovely news....I have heard two rumors. One, that while the parents are in country they can not take their child out of the orphange to their hotel. And two, the judge doesn't really even meet the parents in person but has the parents stand outside a gate. A guard then brings some kind of paperwork for the parents to sign their names and address to, and then he brings the paperwork to the judge. From what I understand, the judge never really lays eyes on the parents.

After hearing all this Saturday night, I had fleeting moments in my mind that we are truly being scammed. We are getting ready to send in more money for our child sponsorship fees and part of me was thinking not to send another dollar because this adoption is turning into one big fiasco. But, then my heart says, it's not Avery's fault and to keep plugging along so she gets a chance to have a family. I just don't understand why this has to be so difficult. I think if adoptive parents could get a few answers it would make the waiting a little easier. But to be left in the dark for what ends up being years of waiting is really just mean. We are trying to help a child and I feel like we are being punished for wanting to do that.

So all it all, it's been just a crappy week for adoption news or lack there of. We are still in IBESR. Once we get out (will we??) eventually we'll get into court/Parquet, which is when this extra trip comes into play.

On a lighter note, yesterday was my little sister's wedding and it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen! I'll be sure to post photos once I get them down loaded. After a Saturday of 60 degrees and pouring rain, Sunday was 78 degrees and sunny skies! Just perfect!

Here's one photo of our little guys right before the wedding.


9 comments:

kayder1996 said...

It's easy to be discouraged. I think the Parquet thing is just for those who have to go through Parquet in PAP. There are different judges who oversee the different courts in different areas. PAP seems to have the most issues with Parquet. (Lucky you, right?) I'm with you on the frustrated business. I went and looked at the IBESR sign out page the other day which was a mistake because all it did was show me how many people have been signed out while we're still there. I am choosing to believe that God loves my girl more than me and that because of His perfect love for her, He will work loving acts in her life. But somedays it is really hard to see how that fits in with the situation. Still, I choose to believe it.

Salzwedel Family said...

Your boys look adorable!

I'm sorry this process is so horrible. I actually have feelings of guilt about being given an "out" from the Haiti program. It has gotten even more ridiculous as time goes on. All I can do is pray and so I do.

Beth Cotell said...

I will continue to pray for your family and especially for Avery. I'm not sure why the government in Haiti is making this so difficult.

I agree with your first commenter...God does love Avery more than anyone on earth could and will look out for her while she is in the orphanage.

God's timing is perfect...of course it's just hard for us as humans to always see it that way!

Amanda said...

that does sound dreadful. i really hate how it has gone down, because I know that in the beginning a trip to Haiti wasn't required and made it convenient for a family like yours. so frustrating.

I am hoping to clear things up for my own peace of mind when I go and figure out exactly where we ARE in this whole process (we've been told 2nd legal) and see if there's anything we can do or any paperwork that's missing.

Anyway, I'll be praying that this trip is something you can avoid (mainly because this "requirement" comes to an end)

Kathy Cassel said...

Waiting to hear too.

Laurie said...

It makes me so mad that Haiti makes this so hard. Less and less people are going to keep adopting from there because of all the 'horror' waiting stories that they hear! All those poor children...

I had heard this new law too and that parents are literally signing a piece of blank paper outside the gates. Halariously ridiculous.

I had a friend adopting from China (she had also adopted from haiti) and she said the china paperwork and process is ssooooooo much easier than Haiti's. That is amazing to me. You would think Haiti would be simpler for many reasons.

Anway, I hope you have peace and feel some encouragment soon. I know it's easy to let those thoughts enter your mind, but you are right...you are fighting for sweet Avery.

I pray this ends for you soon!!

Trina said...

Haiti is an exceptionally corrupt country, as any third-world country tends to be. I agree that it's horrible that they play with peoples emotions in order to help pad the wallets of a few. They clearly don't have the children's best interests at heart. How very sad.

Katy said...

The bad news just keeps coming lately....what an awful position to be placed in with both parents having to go and a child who needs you at home....I am still hoping this will change SOON. We need a break. Just MOVE OUR FILES please!!!

Sarah and Tim said...

Hang in there! We were in ibesr for a very long time, and you will get out! just hang in there and keep praying.

my husband and i both just traveled for our court. it's true, that both parents have to travel, it true that you don't necessarily sign in front of a judge, but rather in front of a clerk. each judge is different though. we didn't stand out front, but went inside to do our signing.

i have been told it's the new law...